POST BOSTON RAMBLINGS

If the Boston Marathon is the Super Bowl of running, then I feel like the team that goes to the Super Bowl and loses. I was so glad to be there and experience everything, but I didn't have the outcome I was hoping for. Everything about my Boston Marathon experience was amazing - except for the running.

I had started to feel better from my cold, except for the cough that just won't quit. I still wasn't sleeping well, but the night before the race I was surprisingly relaxed and optimistic. I remember thinking, "It's going to be a good day" as I pinned my bib on my singlet. 

We woke up on Monday morning to a total deluge. Pouring rain, thunder, lightning. It was nuts. Thankfully, by the time we left to catch the T, it was just a normal rain. We were able to walk through the conference center to catch our charter bus without having to go back out in the rain. We got on our charter bus and made our way to Hopkinton. We got off the bus, used some porta potties with no lines, and had a few minutes to sit before we had to make our way to our corral. Easy peasy. 

We walked to the start and just started running. There was no fanfare or celebration, as we were 2 hours after the actual race start. For a moment you build up in your mind for months, it was very...underwhelming. 

Everyone had warned me not to go out too fast on the downhills, but it was too crowded so I couldn't have gone fast even if I wanted to. A lady ran next to me for awhile and said her Garmin wasn't working so she kept asking me our pace and wanted to know my life story. I really didn't want to chit chat or keep telling her our pace, so thankfully we separated after a bit.

I wasn't feeling great, but I tried to remind myself that I didn't feel good in Phoenix until mile 6. I just tried to find a groove. At 5K, I got a horrible side stitch. I worked through that and still tried to settle in to my goal pace. By 10K, I thought, "OK, I am ready to be done now." Nothing was wrong, I just felt...tired.

I wasn't even fighting to try to hold my goal pace, I knew that wasn't happening. I thought I could just hang around 9 minute miles and cruise to a decent, happy finish. I was drinking a lot of Gatorade because it was hot and humid, and that was a bit of a gut bomb. My lower abdomen was really sore from coughing, and my lower back hurt too.

Then I got a nice burst of energy from the scream tunnel at Wellesley. I could hear the girls from half a mile away, and I smiled from ear to ear for that entire stretch. It was a highlight of the day, for sure.

I had seen my friend Becca and my old coach Kris, and they were both having a hard day too. It was nice to see some familiar faces, and Robyn passed me sometime around halfway as well. I just wanted to get to mile 16 where I knew Travis would be, then I told myself I could walk for a bit.

Well, mile 16 came and went and I never saw Travis. He was there, just off to the side in a big crowd so I missed him. It is probably for the best because I would have stopped to chit chat. (This is how much of a hurry I was not in...)

The fact that I waited until mile 17 to walk is a bit of a miracle. Mercifully, the miles still went by quickly and I never did math in my head about how much further I had to go. I tried to focus my energy on watching the crowds. I suffered through Heartbreak Hill. It felt like a giant mountain. I stopped to use the bathroom, took a popsicle from a stranger and put one foot in front of the other. I just kept thinking, "I can't believe I am walking in the Boston Marathon." At one point I looked around and only saw yellow bibs from the wave that started behind me. That sucked.

I had already struggled with impostor syndrome all weekend and it was hard not to feel like I didn't belong as I walked along the course. Thankfully, the spectators did not see it that way. They cheered me on like I was winning the damn thing. Boston does not mess around about their sports, and the marathon is no exception.

I ran by some nice people with a sign that said "1.8 miles to the finish." Only six laps of the track! I can run 6 laps! Then I realized it was more than 7 laps of the track and I had to walk for a bit. This is the head space I was in...

When I reached the Citgo sign with one mile to go, the skies opened up and it started to pour. It was a nice relief from the sun and humidity. I remember looking around and the massive crowds and starting to tear up, trying to take a mental picture of this crazy moment I wanted to remember forever. I teared up again when I made the famous right on Hereford. Then, the left on Boylston and I could see the finish line down the street. For some reason I ran right down the yellow lines in the middle of the road watching the shoes of guy in front of me. He had these on : 

I very clearly remember thinking, "I am literally chasing the unicorn down Boylston." Then I looked around and saw the crowds. I heard the announcer say my name. I threw my arms up and smiled so big.

I made my way through the finish chute and felt like a crazy person. I just kept tearing up every time someone looked at me or congratulated me. When we reached the medals, I knew I was going to lose it. Sure enough, I did. The volunteer looked at me, held out the medal and put it around my neck and apologized for it being wet from the rain. I couldn't even say thank you because I was just trying to keep it together.

I made my way to the Four Seasons, which was our designated meeting spot. Travis met me outside and gave me a big hug. He had been tracking my deterioration and was worried something was wrong. "Running just felt really bad today," I explained.

We walked in to the Four Season and the staff was lined up at the door and gave me a giant applause, which made me cry again. They gave me a towel, had water and snacks, a DJ, and few spots at the bar where we enjoyed Sam Adams 26.2 beers and shared war stories from the day. I put on my jacket and couldn't help but feel proud, even if my finish time was almost an hour slower than I had prepared for. 4:28, I think...

It has been a week and my emotions around Boston are still complicated. I know the fitness and speed I gained this training cycle are still in there and will pay off down the road, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. With that said, hands down this was the best marathon I have ever done. I want nothing more than to qualify again so I can experience it all over.

PRE BOSTON RAMBLINGS

December 2017. I remember the workouts I had that month that made me think a 3:35 Boston qualifying marathon time wasn't totally out of reach. 

February 2018. Ran the Phoenix marathon and qualified! Life goal achieved!

September 2018. Registration window opened and I spent a little too much energy stressing about getting my confirmation email.

November 2018. Started my 18 week training plan, averaging 45+ miles per week. When it is all said and done, I will have run about 800 miles in this training cycle.

So, if I wanted to be overly dramatic, I could say I have been working toward April 15, 2019 for the last 16 months.

And now...I'm sick. Not like a little taper cold sick, but the sickest I have been in a few years. The type of sick where I can't sleep laying down because I cough too much and when I do manage to fall asleep I wake up drenched in sweat, my abs hurt from coughing so much, my head feels like it is going to explode from pressure, I can't taste anything but nothing is appetizing anyway, my ears are clogged, I sneeze abruptly and spray snot everywhere, and my digestion is out of wack from the meds and supplements I am taking. Needless to say, it isn't pretty.

This is the point where the violins start playing and I feel very sorry for myself.

And now I am trying to move on from that. All of this is part of the marathon, which is the whole point of the marathon. It isn't easy, it's never perfect and the obstacles and challenges are what make it worth it.

Will I have to adjust my goals for Monday? I'm not sure yet. Honestly, when I qualified and started training, my plan was to train for a 3:35 with the goal of running a 3:45. I wanted to be in shape enough to have a good race, but not worry about slowing down to enjoy the experience. I wanted to give high fives to the girls at Wellesley and absorb every moment. 

Once I started training, my goal seems to have shifted. I nailed workouts fast enough to indicate a 3:30ish was possible. I started getting caught in the comparison trap and felt like I needed to race fast. The self imposed pressure of RUNNING THE BOSTON MARATHON (all caps for emphasis) got in my head.

Getting sick has made me reevaluate my goal for Monday. Maybe I will feel great and still manage to race and have a PR, heaven knows I have tried to read every blog I can where people were sick before the race and still went on to have a PR. I don't want to sandbag and say, "I'm just going to take it easy, I've been sick" but I also don't want to try to really race and have a miserable experience.

I think I will take my friend Robyn's advice : 

"...the "A Goal" you should focus on is to finish saying that you loved it, regardless of the result. You've qualified, you've trained, and you've tapered - you deserve to have a good race, but more than that, you deserve to have a good experience. Don't let the goal of a finish time overtake the goal of relishing the opportunity to run Boston."

BOSTON TRAINING WEEKS 5, 6, 7 & 8

What happened to January? It was a long, dark month but it is over! It was a good month of running with lots of highlights and a few low points. All in all, I am feeling tired and strong as I start Week 9 of Boston training.

WEEK 5
Workouts for the week were 5 x 1000 and a 6 mile tempo. The 1000s were tough! I can hit paces for the shorter stuff and the longer stuff, but I can't figure out the middle distance pacing. I nailed the tempo, though. You win some, you lose some! I also decided to make my long run a progression workout chasing Lynn & Jess. The first 7 miles went from 8:53 pace down to 8:00 pace, and the last 7 miles were trying to hang around 8:20. It took me a few days to recover from this one! Note to self - don't do 3 workouts in a week anymore.
Total mileage : 47.4

WEEK 6
Workouts for the week were 4 x 1200 and 7 mile tempo. I was on the struggle bus for the 1200s, I didn't even come close to goal pace. Thankfully the tempo went much better! The highlight of this week was 10 easy miles in the California sunshine! I was tired from a late flight, but the blue sky and upper 60s along the ocean was just what I needed!
Total mileage : 45.4

WEEK 7
Came home from California on Monday afternoon and really, really did not want to go to the track! But, when I got home Travis was home sick from work and I don't like sick people so I decided to get out of the house. I am so glad I did because I finally had a good track workout! It was a 400-800-1200-1600-1200-800-400 ladder and I had perfect splits. My 7 mile tempo on Wednesday was another story... I woke up feeling exhausted, but tried to give it a shot anyway. After a warmup and one failed tempo-ish paced mile (8:20) I decided to just go for 6 easy miles. Even that was hard and I really had to try hard to not walk! I am not sure if this was mental or physical or both, but it sucked. I think it was meant to be, though, because I ran the Orcas Island 25K on Saturday. So much climbing, which wasn't too bad, but OMG the last few miles of downhill almost killed me. My goal was not to hurt myself and I managed that, even though my quads were toast for a few days after! Totally worth it for a fun weekend getaway.
Total mileage 47.5

WEEK 8
Still sore from Orcas, I skipped my track workout on Monday and ran/walked easy instead. I had 7 mile tempo on Wednesday and was nervous because the previous week got in my head a little bit, and my legs were still sore. Surprisingly, it turned out to be my best tempo yet! The rest of the week was easy-ish but the cumulative fatigue is definitely settling in!
Total mileage 46.3

My January total mileage ended up at a perfectly round 200. I didn't plan this, but it made my Type A heart happy!

Orcas Island 25K

100 DAYS

Yesterday marked 100 days until Boston! This was Week 4 of training and it was tough! Building mileage, getting used to 2 workouts a week and adding in some trails made for some very sore legs!

Monday 12/31
6 x 800 - 6.3 Miles 
I was not looking forward to this workout, but Travis was kind enough to join me and make it a little more fun. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to hit my goal paces, even though my body was made up of mostly cheese, cookies and chocolate as the Holidays ended.

Tuesday 1/1
10 Trail
A New Years Day adventure with Travis, Jess and Gavan nearly ruined me. 10 beautiful trail miles with 2900 feet of climbing - and lots of snow - was the perfect way to ring in 2019 but also a brutal reminder of how difficult Orcas Island 25K is going to be.

Wednesday 1/2
Rest

Thursday 1/3
6 Tempo
I was sore. It was cold, rainy and dark. I resigned myself to just try to hit 8:30s, even though my goal pace for these workouts is 8:10. After the first 2 miles, I stopped to readjust. I was wearing gloves, carrying a handheld water bottle and using Knuckle Lights. It was just as annoying as it sounds. I stashed some gear under a bench and started again. I was soaked to the bone, but managed to get it done with an average pace of 8:11.

Friday 1/4
8 Easy
Fun miles with Miranda and Becca. We kept it easy and chatted as the miles ticked by.

Saturday 1/5
8 Easy
Solo miles. It wasn't as fun as Friday, and my lower back was really tight and sore when I finished, but my legs were starting to normal after Monday/Tuesday/Thursday.

Sunday 1/6
6 Trail
Easy miles at Bridle Trails dodging trees that had fallen in the windstorm with Lynn, Robyn and Jess - followed by brunch. Perfect way to end the week!

Total : 46.6 Miles

Adding that tough trail run in the middle of two workouts was a lot, but IcyHot and the foam roller helped. Keeping the weekend extra easy gave me just enough rest to feel ready to start Week 5!

YEAR OF RUNNING 2018

What a year it was! You wouldn't know it based on my sparse blog updates, but it was a good year for running. I am going to try to be a better blogger in 2019 - for no other reason than I want to capture and record my training cycle for Boston. I feel so lucky to be able to train for THE BOSTON MARATHON that I don't want to forget the details of the process.

Anyhoo - before I look ahead to 2019, I am linking up with my friend Courtney over at Eat Pray Run DC to look back on 2018.

This year, I was lucky enough to run around Glacier National Park and beautiful Whitefish, MT. I raced Tenacious Ten with so many friends. I ran the craziest and hardest 400 meters ever up a ski jump in Whistler. I won a (very small) race for the first time ever - a swim/run in Outer Banks, NC! I shared hundreds of miles with old friends and new friends.

Best race experience : 

Phoenix Marathon, hands down. I was hoping to run a 3:35 and squeaked in at 3:34:56. I won't ever forget the feeling of "sprinting" down toward the finish line toward Jess, or getting my phone out of gear check to see tons of voicemails, text messages and tweets from friends who were tracking me. Aside from the storybook finish I had, I highly recommend this race for anyone looking for a PR!

Best run : 

Running through London! This was a bucket list run location for me.

Best piece of new running gear : 

I hope I never need to use it, but my best running purchase this year was a runangel. I run alone in the dark a lot, and this device helps ease my mind just a little bit.

Best running advice I've received this year : 

Desi Linden. "Keep showing up."

Most inspirational runner :

Same as above.

Favorite picture from a race or run : 

This photo from the Millersylvania 30K. This was my first trail race and I had so much fun running and laughing with Jess & Robyn.

Race experience I would repeat in a heartbeat : 

Trail racing! I have always considered myself a road runner, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed the contrast of trail running. The chill vibe, the casual start, the low stress environment - all things this type A road runner could use a little more of! Trail running certainly isn't any easier than road running, but it is different.

If I could sum up my year in a few words, what would they be? Stepping out of my comfort zone!

Happy New Year! Cheers to happy, healthy miles in 2019.

FIVE THINGS FRIDAY

In a lazy effort to "catch up" on all the things I have not blogged about over the last several months, here is a quick recap via Five Things Friday!


1. Recovery from the Phoenix Marathon went pretty well at first. I took about a week and a half off completely and then felt surprisingly decent when I started running again...for a few weeks. After that I just started to feel tired and out of shape and heavy. I ran for fun (30ish miles/week) until May when I decided to start "training" again.

2. I am sticking with my tried and true Hanson Method plan for a half marathon in September. The goal is sub 1:40, but that is feeling like a bit of a stretch these days. I think 1:42 might be a little more reasonable, but I am still trying to hit those 1:40 splits. Even though the mileage isn't that high (40ish miles/week) getting back to workouts has kicked my butt. I am SO tired and still feeling out of shape and heavy.

3. I did a trail race! I must say, I loved the chill vibe and the aid stations were awesome! It was kinda like a picnic but with running. This course did not have a lot of climbing, but it was 30K - the longest I had run since Phoenix. I had a great time - other than the 15 foot long river/mud crossing that we had the pleasure of running through 3x.

4. SUMMER RUNNING IS THE BEST. I can run in shorts and a tank top at 5:30am in broad daylight! I wish it would never end.

5. Outside of running, life is grand. Travis graduated from grad school, we have some fun summer adventures planned, Chopper is living his best life and we are getting some home improvement stuff done. We have the extremely lame goal of trying to stay up at least one night per week until it is dark out (about 10pm in Seattle).

PHOENIX MARATHON RACE RECAP

Let me just start this post by saying that I feel like I am having an out of body experience. A 3:34 marathon? A 5 minute Boston qualifier? No way. Not possible. One year ago I was a 4 hour marathoner. I assumed qualifying for Boston would be at least 2 years down the road, but the Phoenix Marathon proved me wrong in the best possible way.

The morning started stupid early. It occurred to me just a few days before the race that the 6am Phoenix start time was actually 5am Pacific. After a restless night of sleep, Robyn, Jess & I made our way (via Lyft with the most questionable music lyrics imaginable) to the bus loading area. After a 30 minute trip to the start area, we immediately made our way to the extremely long porta potty line. Even if we had been temped to skip the line and use nature as our restroom, we were out in the desert and saw a guy with a cactus sticking out of his calf because he didn't want to wait in line. Ouch.

The race had heat lamps and fire pits to keep us warm(ish) as we waited for the start. It was in the 30s and very cold! After the National Anthem - complete with fireworks - we quickly did gear check and lined up in the starting corral. At exactly 6am/5am, we were off.

Turns out it is really dark at 6am. There were no street lights where we were running, but there were flood lamps every half mile or so. The race organizers sent us an email the day before the race saying we could bring a headlamp, but I was already on a plane when I got that email. I doubt I would have packed one, but I might have bought a little flashlight to carry with me and toss if I had known it was going to be that dark.

Combine the dark with the fact that my feet were totally numb from the cold, and you could say it was a bit of a rough start. It is the weirdest feeling to not be able to see or feel your feet hit the ground. I was a little worried because this was supposed to be the fastest part of the course and not only was I not taking advantage of it, it did not feel easy.

Luckily it got light around mile 4 and I started to warm up. Miles 5 and 6 were the biggest uphill of the course, and there was a bit of wind at that point. It was rough. I couldn't help but think it was too early in the race to have it feel so hard.

Miles 1 - 6: 8:33, 8:16, 8:26, 8:04, 8:22, 8:44

Mile 7 started the glorious downhill. Robyn decided to tuck in with the 3:40 pace group and Jess and I went ahead. I finally started to feel good and the miles ticked off. The pace was a tad faster than I would have gone on my own, but I really wanted to stick with Jess. I wouldn't say it felt hard, it just felt like I was "giving it some gas" if that makes sense. 

Miles 7 - 13: 7:49, 7:53, 7:58, 7:50, 8:02, 7:51, 7:59

This is hilarious because I remember saying on one of my long runs with Jess that "I could not run in the 7s during the race." I assumed that would have been way too fast. But, for whatever reason, I just decided not to back off and slow down. I just let Jess set the pace and I did my best to stay with her. The course started to level off after the halfway point, and I was starting to get tired. I was grateful for every mile that ticked off and I didn't slow down. I knew the slowdown was coming, I just hoped I could hold it off until after mile 20.

At about mile 16, Jess pulled ahead. I kept her in my sights but stayed behind her. I caught back up with her at mile 18 and we ran together again for a bit. We didn't chat, we just ran. Just before we hit 20, she took off. I tried to keep her in my sights, but couldn't hang.

Miles 14 - 20: 7:58, 7:57, 8:05, 8:03, 8:06, 8:13, 8:26

After mile 20 was a bit of a blur. I knew my goal was within grasp, but it was really touch and go for awhile. I started to wonder if a 3:36 or 3:37 would be enough to get in to Boston, but I put those thoughts aside. At mile 21, the 3:35 pace group caught up with me. I ran with them for just over a mile. It was a nice distraction to hear the friendly pacer chatting and cheering people on. I wish I could have stayed with them, but my legs were not cooperating. It was so tempting to let myself back off, but I just knew I had to keep fighting. "Give it some gas" became my mantra. I did not want to settle in to a slower pace, I wanted to keep pushing. After what seemed like an eternity, I hit mile 24. It was a relief to think "just this mile, then the last mile." 

Just before I hit mile 26, I saw Krysta. Her cowbell and words of encouragement gave me the boost I needed to pick up the pace. I rounded the last turn and saw the finish line. I "sprinted" (felt like sprinting, but I am sure it was more of a shuffle jog) with everything I had in me. I saw Jess standing there cheering for me and at that point had no idea if I was still under 3:35 or not. 

Miles 21 - 26: 8:17, 8:25, 8:30, 8:34, 8:34, 8:16

I crossed the finished line, stopped my watch (priorities) and then gave a Shalane Flanagan "F&ck Yeah" shout and got a giant hug from Jess. Then, I looked at my watch.

Total Time : 3:34:58

By the skin of my teeth, I made it in under 3:35. I was a bit worried the official results would be over 3:35 since it was so close, but I knew I had stopped my watch after I crossed the line. My official time turned out to be 3:34:56. (!!!!!)

I must have said "I don't believe it" 15 times as we walked down the finish corral to get water. I am still not sure I believe it. If I hadn't kept "giving it gas" in those final miles. If it hadn't been for Krysta's encouragement, and DEFINITELY if it hadn't been for chasing Jess all along the way and seeing her waiting for me at the finish line, I would have had a different race ending.

This race was the result of a lot of 4:30am alarms, hard workouts and high mileage weeks. But, without a doubt, the biggest factor that helped me reach this goal was surrounding myself with other runners. Running in Santa Barbara with my fast friend over Christmas was just the breakthrough I needed for my workouts. Doing long runs with an awesome lady gang every weekend made the training cycle so fun, I almost didn't want it to end. They gave me the confidence to believe a 3:35 was possible when I wasn't sure I believed it myself.

Moral of the story - running is not a solo sport.

More to come, but for now I am going to celebrate!

Not sure why I look so mad here...
This must be my "be brave, get ugly" face.